The President's Giving A Speech? Whoopee!

It seems like there are two things the Guy in the White House really enjoys:
1: Being the Guy In The White House
2:Giving speeches

Now, lately, he seems to be sheltering in place in the White House, and finally taking this mess seriously. So he can't stand in front of his helicopter and shout things. That only leaves one option ... daily serious speeches from the White House. We've had two in a row and nothing controls the news cycle like a somber president talking about serious stuff... but some things never change which means it's time for ...

THE DONALD TRUMP DRINKING GAME
The rules are simple (of course they are) Before he gives his next speech (you know one's coming), stock up the bar, load up the coffee table and get ready for a party!

When the Guy in the White House says:                                          You:

       "They said "Sir..."                                                       Take a sip of Beer!
    
     "Aren't they terrific?"                                                    Take a sip of wine, but not Trump Wine

       "Fake News!"                                                              Take a shot  

   "I don't want to get into that"                                          Chug half a beer

'     "It's like a miracle"                                                        Consider Rehab Now

"Like we've never seen before"                                          Down a glass of wine

"The... Impeachment...Hoax"                                             Shotgun a beer

"It'll be over...very...quickly"                                              Guzzle  straight from a bottle of                                                                                                                                                                  wine...Trump Wine

"Oh, Wall Street loves Trump"                                            Pound a whole beer and smash the can on                                                                                                                                             your head

"Never in the history of our country"                                  Call an Uber

"Perfect... like... the Letter"                                                 Close your eyes, reach out with both hands                                                                                                                                            and down the first thing you touch!

And, if he's reading from a script:                                      

Take a bong hit and inhale until he looks up (Pace yourself). Then hold your breath until he looks down  and starts to read again. Then exhale.  Repeat as necessary until the end of the speech.

These steps may not change any thing, but they are guaranteed to make the time between now and Election Day go a lot faster!

Cheers!



ers!

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