State of Grace

This piece  above is a story about a person on a vision quest. Like all shamans before them, they have to go a little nuts before they take that first step. When they finally do,  they navigate by the stars in their eyes. Their choices may take them into dangerous places.But they have nothing to fear for the angels that have come before them will guide them safely home.

A long time ago I took that first step. I'm sure there are any number of reasons that I went a little nuts. Excitement. Exhaustion. Caffeine. Queso. A sense that I was in the right place at the right moment. Everything was electric. Urgent. Symbolic. Metaphoric. Odd. I was on an adventure in an amazing place surrounded by gifted people. I was the stranger in the strange land. And yet ... everywhere I turned, there was an open hand that seemed to say "Welcome. It's about time you got here". Weird. Deja vu to the nth degree. How did I know these people I had never met? Why did I feel so safe in a place I had never been? It made no sense that I would. But I did. The feeling gave me a courage I'd never felt before. A security. It allowed me to take a  leap of faith. A really big one. I went down the rabbit hole into some scary places. But I somehow felt secure. Maybe a little indestructible.

Was I wrong? I don't know. I know that I interpreted the world around me to feed the narrative of the vision quest I was on. I know that I did several things that could have gotten me killed, alone, a stranger in a strange land.

And yet... it worked. I made it through the rabbit hole. The people and things I put my trust in did not let me down. The universe surprised me. It caught me when I fell and lifted me up again.

I can't speak for anyone else. I can't say it's all  going to be okay. If ever there was a week to test your faith, this is it. In this season of light, we are confronted with unimaginable darkness. But a long time ago, a voice seemed to say to me "Don't be afraid. Get out there and try. We've got your back". I think when we hear that voice, we should listen.

Now that I think about it, was it that long ago? Not really. Time flies. Seriously. In terms of my life, it doesn't feel like so long... some of it is still so raw and fresh and mysterious.

Yet I know a couple of people who were there with me and to them it's been a lifetime. A glorious lifetime full of discovery and change and growth and love and risk and trust... from first breath to driver's license.

 What next?

The adventure continues.

State of Grace is available here


  1. And now you start another kind of quest. We wish you here to begin it again. Love.

  2. Beautifully expressed. We do have the choice whether to take leaps of faith. The well-trodden ways may be easier or more comfortable, but we learn and feel less. I've had these epiphanies and cliff-falls myself. But if we haven't tried, we haven't lived.

    It sounds like you are in the midst of another journey of faith. I wish you peace, grace and trust.


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